The Five Senses

Those who have ever sat around drinking with me know that if they sit around long enough and refill my glass often enough, eventually I'll ask an annoying question like "if you were stranded on a deserted island with only three CDs, which CDs would you want?" or "if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you pick?" or "if you had to give up one of your five senses, which one would it be?" Really, I'm the life of the party.

The five senses question is, for some reason, one of my favorites. And since nobody really likes answering my questions as much as I do, I've thought about it a lot since I first asked it. Actually, a better question would be, "which of your five senses would you give up LAST?" because it's pretty easy for most people to eliminate a mere one of the five.

Although I love food (and wine!) and would list several foods among my all-time favorite things, taste is the first to go for me, mostly because I can do without it. Sure, I'd miss peaches and hush puppies and Sweet Water's crab fritters, but not as much as I'd miss all the stuff I love about the other four senses.

And once you're down to four it starts to get tricky. I eliminate sight next. Nobody else, by the way, ever gives up sight this early in the game. I imagine that's a practical consideration, and I agree that it would be pretty inconvenient not to be able to see anything, but I'm also aware that I'm never going to be required to give up one (or more) of my five senses so practicality doesn't really enter into it for me. Impractically speaking, sight is nice for sunsets, which I can do without almost as easily as I can do without peaches.

Keep in mind I don't WANT to give up peaches OR sunsets, but that's sort of the point of the game.

After relinquishing taste and sight I'm left with smell, hearing, and touch. And I'm pretty much screwed -- I NEED those other senses. I know what you're thinking: smell?! This chick gave up sight in order to keep SMELL? but if you'd ever been to the Outer Banks in October when the olive bushes are in bloom and the whole island smells like heaven, you wouldn't be so quick to give up smell either. Most of our memories are wrapped up in smell, and smell is perhaps my keenest sense. I live by smell.

And I can't give up hearing because I need music. Turning on the radio is the first thing I do in the morning, and the last thing I do before going to bed is to turn it off. I actually get grumpy if I go for very long without music. I can't imagine living without it.

Nor can I do without touch. Although I once knew a girl who gave up touch first without even THINKING about it ("you'd never be cold," she explained), touch is probably the last sense I'd be willing to part with. Sure, you'd never be cold, but you'd never be warm and cozy either. You'd never feel the sand between your toes or the weather-worn planks of the boardwalk under your feet. You'd never feel cool saltwater on hot sunburned skin as you dive into an oncoming wave. I'm not even sure you could feel something as wonderful as buoyancy. Plus, without touch, sex would probably be a drag.

So there you go. Now you know what it's like to have a beer with me.