Tuesday, September 04, 2007

My First Day of Not Having a First Day of School

I didn't go back to school today.

For, like, the first time ever. I went from high school to college to grad school to teaching, so for pretty much as long as I can remember the day after Labor Day has been The First Day of School, a day of both nervous anticipation and new beginnings. But today was just any old day, with nothing in particular to anticipate and nary a fresh start to be made.

And despite the fact that I made a conscious decision not to teach this year, I'm feeling out of sorts. Sure, I'm looking forward to a year without papers to grade or bratty students to reprimand, but I already miss the not-so-bratty kids and I haven't quite grown used to my new identity as someone other than a teacher.

So because I can't let go -- and because I never got around to it back in June -- please enjoy Exhibits D through K from last year's classroom portrait gallery.

Exhibit D:

What I don't like: Dude, I NEVER wear heels. Plus that apostrophe is totally unnecessary. And, um, I know I was concerned about the lack of teeth in exhibit C but these teeth are just weird. Oh, OH, and poor Luna!

What I do like: The GMOs! We were totally studying GMOs at the time, and this kid knows enough to know they're bad news.

Exhibit E:

What I don't like: Oh gosh, where to begin? Let's see. . .A) meat is NOT good, B) why is my face a different color than my body?, C) did I just decapitate my cat?!, D) belly shirts are SO 1994.

What I do like: Um? I see the word "organic." That's nice.

Exhibit F:

What I don't like: Whoa. Crazy hair! I look scary.

What I do like: Nice pink dress, plus this is the portrait of a chick who doesn't fuck around. I mean, you'd sit down if she said to, right?

Exhibit G:

What I don't like: Hellooooo, arms?

What I do like: "shhhhhhhh" sounds a lot more like something I would say than, "sit down you fooooolls!" Also red is a good color for me.

Exhibit H:

What I don't like: Um, hellooooo, ARMS? Also why am I twice the size of Mr. Michigan?

(sidebar: Early in the year I got so tired of trying to distinguish between the inseparable and nearly identical Blair and Ashby that I just started calling both of them Blashby. It worked.)

What I do like? Awwww, first portrait to include my totally awesome boyfriend! And I think he's making a kissy face. :-)

Exhibit I:

What I don't like: Dude, that ring is WAY too big for my nonexistent finger. Plus it is important for young ladies to understand that there's more to life than snagging a husband and scoring a nice rock. Seriously, is feminism dead?

What I do like: If I WERE getting hitched, the Outer Banks (or OBX in local parlance) would sure be a nice place to do so.

Exhibit J:

What I don't like: Am I wearing Timberlands with a DRESS? An ORANGE dress? And what is UP with my eyes?

What I do like: I'm rich! Look at all those dubs ($20 bills) I got!

Exhibit K:

What I don't like: At the end of a year-long Geography course, you'd think my students could read a map well enough to determine that Michigan does, in fact, have beaches.

What I do like: Is that a beer in my hand? Oooh, and I have a much nicer rack here than in real life.


Unclejbird said...

First comment! YES! I can only say today was supremely weird (read: dull) without certain key people in da house. We all miss you! Omar says to hit him up sometime.

Preview of upcoming post - Most commonly hated phrase (by sophomore girls) on my famous "Inside the Actors Studio" icebreaker questionnaire: Girl Boo.

Tenacious S said...

Awww, you miss the little rugrats.

Anonymous said...

wow, we're ALL getting out of teaching, 1 way or another, ain't we??

---Big Orange

lulu said...

Dude! Come to Bangladesh! You would SO love it here! Cute summer clothes all year round, and motivated kids, plus tons-o-dubs (although we call them taka here)

I do like that your students understood the Michigan as Mitten concept.

Megan said...

J - Does that mean they're going to stop calling each other "boo"?

TenS - I do. . .I really do.

BO - It ain't what it used to be, ya know?

Lu - It's definitely on the list of options! Can we bring the kitties?

minijonb said...

thanks for the exhibits... i'll have to use them as maps the next time i get lost in... Mr. Michigan!

vikkitikkitavi said...

RE: Exhibit K - Megan has a saggy diaper that leaks.

Grant Miller said...

Mr Michigan looks like a mitten.

lulu said...

You can indeed bring kitties. There are several people who have their pets from home with them.

wonderturtle said...


A Ghost's Story said...

maybe I missed it, but whatcha' doin' for a livin' if'n y'all ain't teachin'?? I'm apparently completely overqualified to do anything ELSE...

Megan said...

minijonb - "Mr. Michigan" is the secret code name my students gave to my boyfriend since I wouldn't tell them his real name.

Vikki - Yeah, you got a point there. I was distracted by the beer.

Grant - That's because Michigan looks like a mitten.

Lulu - Woohoo!

WT - I know, I know. And I keep checking your blog for an inspiring back to school post. :-)

Lemon - Um, so far. . .nothing. But I have an interview at an independent bookstore next week. I'm also considering subbing.

GETkristiLOVE said...

The ring looks like it will fit Mr. Michigan Mitten.