I didn't go back to school today.
For, like, the first time ever. I went from high school to college to grad school to teaching, so for pretty much as long as I can remember the day after Labor Day has been The First Day of School, a day of both nervous anticipation and new beginnings. But today was just any old day, with nothing in particular to anticipate and nary a fresh start to be made.
And despite the fact that I made a conscious decision not to teach this year, I'm feeling out of sorts. Sure, I'm looking forward to a year without papers to grade or bratty students to reprimand, but I already miss the not-so-bratty kids and I haven't quite grown used to my new identity as someone other than a teacher.
So because I can't let go -- and because I never got around to it back in June -- please enjoy Exhibits D through K from last year's classroom portrait gallery.
What I don't like: Dude, I NEVER wear heels. Plus that apostrophe is totally unnecessary. And, um, I know I was concerned about the lack of teeth in exhibit C but these teeth are just weird. Oh, OH, and poor Luna!
What I do like: The GMOs! We were totally studying GMOs at the time, and this kid knows enough to know they're bad news.
What I do like: Um? I see the word "organic." That's nice.
What I don't like: Whoa. Crazy hair! I look scary.
What I do like: Nice pink dress, plus this is the portrait of a chick who doesn't fuck around. I mean, you'd sit down if she said to, right?
What I don't like: Hellooooo, arms?
What I do like: "shhhhhhhh" sounds a lot more like something I would say than, "sit down you fooooolls!" Also red is a good color for me.
What I don't like: Um, hellooooo, ARMS? Also why am I twice the size of Mr. Michigan?
(sidebar: Early in the year I got so tired of trying to distinguish between the inseparable and nearly identical Blair and Ashby that I just started calling both of them Blashby. It worked.)
What I do like? Awwww, first portrait to include my totally awesome boyfriend! And I think he's making a kissy face. :-)
What I don't like: Dude, that ring is WAY too big for my nonexistent finger. Plus it is important for young ladies to understand that there's more to life than snagging a husband and scoring a nice rock. Seriously, is feminism dead?
What I do like: If I WERE getting hitched, the Outer Banks (or OBX in local parlance) would sure be a nice place to do so.
What I don't like: Am I wearing Timberlands with a DRESS? An ORANGE dress? And what is UP with my eyes?
What I do like: I'm rich! Look at all those dubs ($20 bills) I got!
What I don't like: At the end of a year-long Geography course, you'd think my students could read a map well enough to determine that Michigan does, in fact, have beaches.
What I do like: Is that a beer in my hand? Oooh, and I have a much nicer rack here than in real life.