My Report Card

Because I truly value their feedback, I always ask my kids to fill out an anonymous course evaluation at the end of the year. I also always forget that kids who have spent all year asking, "how much is this worth?" before completing any assignment are not likely to devote much time to providing me with detailed constructive criticism if they're not being graded on how constructive that criticism is. Behold:

Q: Did you find this class interesting and/or intellectually challenging? Explain.
A: It was very challenging to my intellect, which is a rare thing since my intellect is hardly matched by much else.
A: It was not very interesting, but it was challenging because the topic of the class is retarded.

Q: What is the most important thing you learned in this class?
A: Super Size Me!
A: To behave.
A: I don’t know.
A: Patrick is incredibly creepy.
A: Don’t order pizza and have it delivered to class.

Q: If you were the teacher, what type of homework would you assign to help your students understand the textbook readings?
A: Instead of assigning homework at all. Just don’t assign it at all.
A: Not reading the long book, because it was boring and used the words non one (sic) knew.
A: Questions to go along with the unit (PS get a less boring book).

Q: What was the best thing about Human Geography class? Why?
A: The people they made the class so enjoyable. Window side represent!
A: Deforestation.
A: It was always funny.
A: Hanging out in class when you weren’t going crazy.
A: It was a chill environment it wasn’t like AHHHHHHHH all the time it was more like Wheew. . thank God I have AP Geo test… . . OOOOOO OOOO AND DAN that kid was crazy

Q: What was the worst thing about Human Geography class? Why?
A: The topic.
A: Patrick being creepy. (from a different kid)
A: Tests were ridiculous. Why? You tell me.
A: My pet peeve was when you would give out a map and people would cry for the first hour. I mean, hello, it’s a geography class.

Q: What grade do you think you deserve in Human Geography? What grade do you think you’ll get?
A: I absolutely deserve an A. I worked hard and did a darn good job. Alas, I believe I will receive a B because of some error, or miscalculation, or the American government plotting against me. How you could give me a B and sleep at night is beyond my reasoning.
A: I think I deserve an A and I know I’M REALLY CLOSE TO IT BUT I NEED LIKE 0.8 MORE!
A: A “B” please. Probably a C which would really really suck. (hint hint)

Q: What could you have done to be more successful in this class?
A: Actually put your study tips to work.
A: Made more of an effort to actually read the book and not use it for something else like painting nails.

Q: Anything else you want to tell me? Advice? Suggestions? Secrets? Now’s the time.
A: Ur sweet!
A: Don’t show Super Size Me again. I will never ever enjoy fast food for the rest of my life.
A: Maybe you should call up that guy that was hitting on you in the bookstore.
A: Try not to bore your kids next year.
A: Don’t get too attached to any of your new children. I plan on being your favorite until ’08, at which time you’ll cry and possibly transfer.
A: The tests could have been a bit less out of control on the difficulty meter.
A: Stop snitchin.
A: Maybe just enjoy the pizza next time.
A: Be chill and stop snitchin.
A: Don’t be so anul (sic) all the time.
A: Hell no! Do how you do [my last name here] live on!