About a year ago I was preparing to go on a first date -- not just any first date but my FIRST first date since leaving my fiancé a year earlier. Sure, rebound boy DH and I had gone out drinking together a number of times after the big break-up, but we never had anything to eat so I don't think any of those encounters actually counts as a real date. Anyway, it was a first date, so naturally I was nervous, particularly because I suck at making small talk.
My friend Eileen is no stranger to first dates -- she rather enjoys them, in fact -- and the task of calming me down fell to her. It went a little something like this:
Eileen: What are you gonna wear?And then she made me a list of things I am not allowed to discuss on a first date, presumably for my own good.
Me: Um, jeans?
Eileen: That works. Do you have dressy jeans?
Me: Doesn't that sort of defeat the whole purpose of jeans?
Eileen: Okay, so just your regular jeans. With a cute top, like a going out top.
Me: Have you ever seen me in anything that even remotely resembles a going out top?
Eileen: You know what, just wear something red. You look good in red. Or pink.
Me: Oooh, I have cute brown mocassins with a pink bow on them.
Me: Okay, but what are we gonna TALK about?
Eileen: Well, I can tell you what you're NOT gonna talk about.
I mention all this because I just discovered that list still hanging on my fridge. It reads:
Things Megan is not Allowed to Discuss on a First Date
- President Bush
- the Bill of Rights
- the Supreme Court
- the Bill of Rights as interpreted by the Supreme Court (and definitely do not mention the 5th grade Sandra Day O'Connor Halloween costume!)
- sports (because you suck at that)
- the war in Iraq
- land use (see logging)
You know, all the things I like to talk about. Well, except for sports -- I definitely do suck at that.