Is It Fascism Yet?

America, circa 2006: We find ourselves engaged in a costly and unjust war to which there is no end in sight, despite the fact that our commander-in-chief declared our "mission accomplished" nearly three years ago; Congress continues to authorize increases in military spending while slashing the budgets of the very social programs on which so many of our soldiers and their families depend; right-wing pundits like Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity offer advice on "how to talk to a liberal. . .if you must" and how to defeat the "evil" of liberalism; SUVs throughout the country are plastered with star-spangled stickers sporting slogans that range from the innocuous "Support Our Troops" to the jingoistic "Let's Roll"; soccer moms are revered while working mothers are reviled; 43 of our 50 states have banned same-sex marriage either through statute or through amendments to their state constitutions; at Guantanamo Bay, in violation of the Geneva Conventions, the US military has detained indefinitely hundreds of "enemy combatants" and subjected them to procedures the International Red Cross has described as tantamount to torture; those who committed the atrocities at Abu Ghraib remain largely unpunished and the man who declared such interrogative techniques legal is now the US Attorney General; the exposure of Jack Abramoff's political ties has revealed the largest corruption scandal since Teapot Dome; our president affects the good ol' boy persona of a blue-collar American despite his northern roots and his heritage of wealth and privilege, claims to speak directly to God, and has boldly announced that "either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists."

In such a climate, one has to ask oneself -- especially if one was paying even the slightest bit of attention during one's high school History classes -- is it fascism yet? Political scientist Lawrence Britt has studied the fascist regimes of Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Suharto and others and has identified 14 characteristics common to all fascist governments:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism: Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.
2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights: Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause: The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial, ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.
4. Supremacy of the Military: Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.
5. Rampant Sexism: The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.
6. Controlled Mass Media: Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.
7. Obsession with National Security: Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.
8. Religion and Government are Intertwined: Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.
9. Corporate Power is Protected: The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.
10. Labor Power is Suppressed: Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts: Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment: Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption: Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.
14. Fraudulent Elections: Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

Sound familiar?

Confession

I did an environmentally irresponsible thing today: I drove an hour and a half to Duck just to get my hair done. Although I admit this was poor stewardship of the planet, I don't regret my little trip because A) I really really needed my hair done, B) I got to see a pretty cool sunset, and C) on my way back home I heard one of my favorite 80s power ballads: "Love Song" by Tesla. I would have totally missed that if I hadn't been in the car. So too bad if the rest of you can't breathe.

Luna is Grounded!

2 Dead Presidents = 1 Long Weekend

Presidents' Day weekend and at long last. . .visitors from Northern Virginia! Eileen and Molly drove down after school on Friday and spent the long weekend with me. We hung out in Norfolk on Friday night and then headed down to Corolla on Saturday afternoon. I greeted them with sangria and cheese dip, which we enjoyed while consulting the tarot cards. Although Molly was hoping for some indication that a rich Southern lawyer was about to enter her life, instead she got a lot of crap about loss and hardship. But it’s February, a month of loss and hardship. I’m sure her rich Southern lawyer is due in like March, or maybe April at the very latest.

After sangria and tarot cards we walked across the street to Colley Cantina (of course) for food and margaritas. Once we had a good buzz going we met up with Dave, Steve & Jen, Jess & Rob, and others at O’Sullivan’s to see everyone’s favorite local cover band Lovesick Cousin. (Lovesick Cousin was recently voted “Best Local COUNTRY Band” by readers of Port Folio Weekly, our alternative newspaper, but they’re really not a country band. And Steve’s really not in love with their lead singer.) Anyway, the alcohol flowed freely, Lovesick Cousin was fun as usual, Molly & Eileen got to meet Dave, and I got to meet a few of Dave’s friends.

Saturday morning Molly, Eileen, and I had breakfast at the Donut Dinette down the street, which is a pretty cool little diner if you’re not a vegetarian, or even if you ARE a vegetarian but can somehow comes to terms with the fact that everything you eat there tastes like bacon because, well, it’s fried in bacon grease. After our bacon breakfast we drove down to Corolla, stopping only to pick up crabmeat and booze. We lay around chatting all afternoon Saturday, then we showered and got ready for a wild and crazy night! Actually, no. . .we showered and immediately put on our pajamas. I made my slightly famous crabcakes (bacon grease-free!) and we drank a LOT of champagne and wine amidst girl-talk. Topics discussed: boys, sex, birth control, (not to be confused with) abortion, the status of women, motherhood vs. career, and probably some others that I can’t quite remember because, quite frankly, at some point I became drunk.

Sunday we did a little shopping, walked up to the beach for a bit (well, Eileen didn’t because it was 34° and she’s a candy-ass), played the question and answer (but not the moving pieces or keeping score) part of Trivial Pursuit, and watched Garden State. . . all while drinking sub-par bloody marys. (Now, technically there was nothing wrong with these particular bloody marys, but Dave makes his very own kick-ass bloody mary mix and I’ve grown quite spoiled by his bloody marys.) Garden State is a pretty funny movie, but the funniest part for us was cracking the 4 digit parental control password Brian had for some reason set up on the DVD player. Eileen tried 0000 -- no dice. Molly suggested 1212 -- still no luck. I said, "Hmmm. . .try 0420" -- BINGO! We laughed for a good five minutes over the irony of setting your parental control password to the secret code for marijuana use.

We had big plans to hit up Metropolis for drinks and dinner, but alas, it was mysteriously closed and we got stuck at Northbanks, which was the only place open in Corolla, unless you count Sundawgs (and I don’t). We made it home in time for Eileen and Molly’s Sunday night shows: Desperate Housewives (which I myself was WAY into last year) and Grey’s Anatomy (which, according to just about everyone I know, is the best show on television). I think I managed not to get hooked on either, which is good considering I don’t own a television, although I must admit I’m a little tempted by Grey’s Anatomy (but not tempted enough to get a TV).

We rose at the crack of dawn (really, 6:30!) on Monday morning to find snow on the ground and snow still falling. We were on the road by 7:15 in the hopes of having Eileen and Molly home by 1:00. Sadly, it was not meant to be. . .we arrived in Norfolk to find Eileen’s battery dead and her car surrounded by other cars, which prevented any type of jumper cable action. See, this is where I fault the tarot cards: instead of (or perhaps in addition to) telling us all that stuff about loss and hardship (Molly), being at a crossroads and having your hard work pay off (Eileen), or trusting your intuition and following your heart (me), they might have reminded Eileen that she left her damn dome light on. Alas, I suppose tarot cards deal exclusively with weighty matters.

Despite the crappy ending, it was the best girls weekend I’ve had since mine and Nisha’s birthdays at the beginning of October. Photographic evidence:

How to Talk Like a Norfolk Teenager

Basic Vocab

Wack: generally not cool: e.g., "I can't believe the Redskins lost, that's totally wack." or "Mr. E is making us read The Lexus and the Olive Tree, some wack book about globalization."

Jank: thing, stuff, etc.: e.g., "Did you grade our quizzes yet? I wanna know how I did on that jank." or "We had a pizza party in English today. . .that jank was good!"

Bootleg: sub-par, not name-brand: e.g., "You don't have an IPod? That's so bootleg." or "That shirt is so bootleg. I bet she made it in home-ec."

Scramblin': really really wack, with a touch of bootleg: e.g., "Those kids were cheating right in front of you? That's so scramblin'." or "What's up with her scramblin'-ass hair? Either dye it or don't dye it!"

Fry: to make fun of, put down, disparage; e.g., "Ooooh, she fried you!" (This term is most often employed as a threat: e.g., "I'm about to fry you, Jasmine!" It is rare for any "frying" to actually take place, but the mere possibility of being fried should make you tremble in your boots. I mean your Tims.)

On Snitching

Snitching is, of course, telling on someone. And do you know what happens to snitches? Snitches get stitches. Some of them even wind up in ditches. Which is why we should all just stop snitching. If we entertain any thoughts of being considered cool, we should at the very least own an anti-snitching t-shirt.

This stop snitching thing apparently originated in inner-city Baltimore and is pretty serious stuff in urban areas throughout the country. The t-shirts have been banned from courtrooms in several localities on the grounds that they intimidate witnesses. I imagine in some contexts the shirts would be pretty intimidating, but on a fluffy-haired white boy from Larchmont they don't quite have that effect. Nevertheless, I will think twice before snitching, since one of those fluffy-haired white boys said to me last week, "It's bad enough you're a teacher, but to be a teacher AND a snitch? Now that's low."

The Last Time I. . .

was at the beach: January 1st

left the house without making the bed: January 31st

slept later than I meant to: this morning

smoked a cigarette: January 6th (I had previously been on quite the streak dating back to Thanksgiving, but I hit a bit of an emotional rough patch.)

filled up my gas tank: January 14th

visited the Emergency Room: February 3rd

said I would do something and then didn't do it: um, I think never

had a hangover: December 11th

consulted the tarot cards: February 5th

listened to the same CD more than 5 times in a row: right now (The Be Good Tanyas, Blue Horse)

listened to the same song more than 10 times in a row: January 5th (Jeff Buckley's cover of Nina Simone's "If You Knew.")

pretended not to be angry when really I was: February 4th

ate meat: Christmas

dreamt about sharks or tornadoes: it's been a month or two, thank god

checked Ellen's blog in the hopes that she might have posted something since freakin' November 22nd: February 2nd

WWJD

What Would Jefferson Do?

It’s nearly February -- high season for Virginia legislating -- and the General Assembly is up to its usual crazy shit. One has to wonder what Thomas Jefferson, author of the Declaration of Independence and champion of individual rights, would make of our more conservative legislators. (Sidebar: remember when the term conservative was used to describe people who wanted the government to stay OUT of our lives? Or is that just when it comes to paying our taxes? I get confused.) Among the bills proposed in this year’s legislative session are HJ 41: the usual constitutional amendment defining marriage as something that may exist only between a man and a woman, HB 187: a bill forbidding medical professionals to artificially inseminate women who are not married, HB 164: a bill requiring the promotion of abstinence in all Family Life Education (AKA “sex-ed”) classes, and HB 1308: a bill that allows public facilities to deny access to groups that encourage pre-marital sex.

Clearly Virginia’s legislators are concerned about sex. And clearly they have either not heard of -- or just don’t give a fuck about -- the 14th Amendment’s guarantee of equal protection of the law. They also seem to be operating under the delusion that their religious beliefs should play a role in making laws for the rest of us to live by. The common theme among these four bills is so-called Christian values. (Not Christian as in “love thy neighbor” and “judge not lest ye be judged,” but Christian as in “every time I open a Bible I somehow manage to grossly misinterpret was Jesus was saying about love, acceptance, and salvation.” But that’s not today’s topic.)

Marriage

The same-sex marriage debate is not a brand-new one, nor is Virginia the only state to propose an amendment to its constitution that would ban it. From a legal standpoint, I just don’t see what the fuss is about. The 14th Amendment to the US Constitution states unambiguously that laws must apply to all citizens equally, which basically means that laws cannot be discriminatory. I’m not a Supreme Court justice (though I often wish I was), but I can safely say that a law allowing straight people to marry each other but forbidding gay people to marry each other is discriminatory. An amendment to the FEDERAL Constitution defining marriage as between a man and a woman would allow states to circumvent the 14th Amendment’s guarantee of equal protection, but some of you may have noticed that Dubya dropped that campaign promise the second the Christian Right re-elected him. Until such an amendment is ratified, states have to abide by both the letter and spirit of the existing Constitution.

The only debate you can have about same-sex marriage is a values debate. And that particular values debate probably doesn’t sound so very different from the debate Virginians had a mere 40 years ago about inter-racial marriage. Up until a 1967 Supreme Court decision, Virginia law forbade miscegenation, or “the interbreeding of races.” I hardly see the difference between prejudice against black people and prejudice against gay people, but maybe my “values” are fucked up.

Child-Rearing & Procreation

Fortunately the bill forbidding artificial insemination of unmarried women died in committee. That doesn’t change the fact that some dude (and rest assured it WAS a dude) actually proposed it. The bill was most likely designed to prevent lesbian couples from having children, but it’s patently offensive to single women everywhere. Wait, I can’t have a baby AND I can’t have an abortion? Make up your mind, Republicans!

Of course, if you ask Republicans, I shouldn’t (hypothetically) be having sex in the first place. Sex is for procreation, and the only people who should be procreating are those who have entered into the sacred covenant of marriage. Hence the promotion of abstinence in schools and the denial of facilities use to the plethora of groups that “encourage or promote sexual activity by unmarried minor students.” Seriously, where ARE these groups? Can anyone name one? I’ve been in numerous schools, as both a student and a teacher, and I have yet to encounter a club or organization that promotes any kind of sexual activity. Hell, why in the world would kids sit around after school and DISCUSS sex when they could just go home and HAVE it? Politicians: drop by a school sometime, talk to the kids for twelve seconds or so. It might save you the trouble of writing such silly bills. And PS: I hate to be a stickler, but this one’s unconstitutional too. If a school allows one club or group to use its facilities, it has to provide equal access to all other clubs or groups.

Abstinence

The bill in question was proposed by Del. Scott Lingamfelter (from Woodbridge -- my sister probably voted for him) and “requires that any family life education course including a discussion of sexual intercourse emphasize that abstinence is the accepted norm and the only guarantee against unwanted pregnancy.” I can get behind this guy (repeat: guy) on abstinence being the only guarantee against unwanted pregnancy, but the accepted norm? Are you fucking kidding me?! Perhaps Del. Lingamfelter discovered some sort of wormhole and traveled back in time to. . .um. . .a time that doesn’t exist? Or maybe in a parallel universe (Einstein indicated such a thing was possible) abstinence is the accepted norm. But it’s certainly not the norm in this universe.

Here’s the thing about teenagers: they are going to have sex whether we like it or not, and they can either do that safely or not so safely. (For the record, I don’t think kids should be having sex. But that’s based on what I know about sex as an adult, and you couldn’t have convinced me of that as a kid. Okay, maybe you could have convinced ME, but you couldn't have convinced most of the kids I knew.) If all we tell kids about sex is not to have it, they are not going to know how to protect themselves from pregnancy and disease when they do have it. This is bad from a social perspective and bad from a public health perspective.

And here’s the other thing, Republicans: you can’t have it both ways. You can’t exclusively promote abstinence and then bitch about women using abortion as a form of birth control. Abstinence-based education just does not work. If we did a kick-ass job of promoting and providing access to birth control, there would be far less abortion because there would be far fewer unwanted pregnancies.

Jeffersonian Governance

Unfortunately, for the most part we are not dealing with rational people but with religious fundamentalists, who argue that their way is A) the only right way and B) the historical American way. Which brings us back to Thomas Jefferson, an unwavering advocate of civil liberties who was devoted to the concept of separation of church and state (in fact, it's Jefferson who coined that phrase). In 1779, Jefferson crafted Virginia's Statute for Religious Freedom, which reminded citizens that "our civil rights have no dependence upon our religious opinions." In 1803, Jefferson wrote, "I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance." And in 1807, long before the advent of the 14th Amendment's guarantee of equal protection or any related Supreme Court decisions, Jefferson asserted that "an equal application of law to every condition of man is fundamental." Do you think HE would support any of these bills?

Amélie

Last weekend Dave and I watched a beautiful French film called Amélie. It was (like most films) new to me, but it's one of Dave's favorites, and I absolutely fell in love with it. It is the only movie I have ever seen and wanted to watch again immediately. Various film critics have described Amélie as a "feel-good" movie, but that doesn't begin to do it justice. There is something so magical and wonderful about Amélie that I almost forgot to breathe through parts of it.

Although the plots aren't the slightest bit similar, the film reminds me of one of my all-time favorite books -- Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin -- simply for the feelings it evokes. I spent all of last Winter and most of last Spring reading Winter's Tale, not because it's a long book (though it is long at 673 pages), but because I loved it so much I didn't want it to end.

At the heart of both Amélie and Winter's Tale is a simple joy at being alive and an overriding faith in humanity. Amélie is filled with whimsy and brilliant color while Winter's Tale is an epic filled with, well, snow, but both are incredibly moving magical stories. And they're funny too. :)

Christmas

Christmas family-style is usually not exactly in keeping with the whole "peace on Earth/goodwill towards men" thing that's at the heart of the Christmas season. In fact, Christmas family-style can often be downright bad, and I have sworn for several years in a row that I'm done with it. However, this Christmas was actually. . .wait for it. . .good. I attribute this to one of those rare Grinch-like epiphanies:

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store .

"Maybe Christmas. . .perhaps. . .means a little bit more!"

This Christmas, we agreed NOT to exchange gifts, but to donate to charity instead. I embraced this concept wholeheartedly (since it was my idea), as did my dad, who has been lobbying for a "reasonable" Christmas for about as long as I can remember. Brian was torn between his principles and his desire to replace an abundance of CDs he's worn out. Laura, whose intial response to the charitable Christmas plan was, "But I want stuff!," took a little convincing but eventually came on board. The only real holdout was Mama F, who compromised by making a sizable (I assume) donation to a Katrina fund and limiting herself to gifts that would fit in our stockings. Thus Brian got his replacement CDs, I got a replacement digital camera, Laura got some sweater sets, and my dad got various pocket-sized sudoku books. Although this was not exactly in keeping with the no gifts theme, it was a step in the right direction and all parties involved were quite pleased with the results. For the first time in many years, Christmas was low-key and enjoyable, and it felt like Christmas is supposed to feel (see "peace on earth/goodwill towards men" above).

In addition to having a good Christmas day, I also had a very nice Christmas vacation. I spent a few days in Northern Virginia, which gave me an opportunity to catch up with old friends (special thanks to Mark and Driscoll for making the trek to Noonan's!). Almost as importantly, I was able to visit Tysons II (*shudder*) to hit the after-Christmas sale at my beloved Anthropologie! Other highlights of my break: Christmas Eve in Charlottesville with Dave's family, a very yummy pre-New Year's dinner at Steve and Jen's house, a too-brief visit with Nisha and Trey, a haircut (at long last!), and a solitary New Year's Eve walk on the beach.

David's Wedding

My cousin David got married to his long-time girlfriend Mary a few weekends ago, so the entire clan made the road trip to Greensboro and spent some quality time together. The northern and southern portions of the clan hadn't seen each other in almost ten years, so it was very nice to catch up with cousins, especially our super-fun cousin Kate. The extended family was the last to leave the reception (imagine that), and then we closed down the hotel bar. (Many thanks to my dad for picking up everyone's bar tab!) Kate was in big trouble with her husband for behaving badly, but for the record I thought she was pretty fun. And she was probably in better shape than my sister Laura, who -- while getting ready for bed -- tripped over her own pants, fell down and hit her head, and now requires a CAT-Scan to ensure that she's done no permanent damage.

The only permanent damage I did was to my digital camera, which I dropped at the reception. I took it to a camera shop to see if it could be repaired and they just laughed at me, so it looks like I'll be buying myself a new camera for Christmas. In the meantime, here are the pictures that survived:

J. Crew

J. Crew's late September catalog included about seven fur items, despite the cruelty inherent in the production of fur and a long-standing pledge on the part of J. Crew NOT to sell it. Real fur has been taboo for quite some time, and the fur J. Crew was selling came from China where the fur industry is largely unregulated and animals are often skinned alive. We all know how much I love J. Crew, but I love both animals and principles more. So I boycotted, threw around words like "unconscionable" and "reprehensible," then wrote some angry letters to J. Crew about how I was thoroughly disgusted by their promotion of cruelty to animals and by their implicit message that being fashionable is more important than being ethical.

However. . .

Steve just informed me that, in response to mounting pressure from PETA and concerned citizens like myself, J. Crew has abandoned its evil quest to profit from the pain and suffering of innocent coyotes and the like. Good news! This would have been nice to know yesterday when I was at the mall -- instead of walking by J. Crew and glaring I could have popped in and fed my cashmere sweater addiction. And the rest of you may now resume shopping at J. Crew with my blessing.

Thanksgiving Weekend

My weekend began around noon on Wednesday, when I headed over to Cogan's (my new happy hour spot with a Fats-like vibe) for some beer and pizza, and somehow got sucked in to playing air hockey with Steve. Needless to say, he totally kicked my ass. There are several factors that account for this ass-kicking: 1) Steve is VERY serious about air hockey, 2) my hand-eye coordination isn't even that good when I'm 100% sober, and 3) I SO don't care about winning.

Late Wednesday night I headed down to the beach for Thanksgiving with the family. Thursday and Friday were fairly uneventful. The most excitement we had was watching the cat and dog try to figure each other out. Sadie so wanted Luna to play with her and she kept barking at her, which scared Luna who hissed and ran away, thus beginning the cycle anew. I spent most of the weekend reading the 5th Harry Potter book. (I think Harry Potter should be grounded for like a year, by the way. What is his problem and why can't he freakin stay out of trouble?! I imagine it gets worse in Harry Potter #6.)

I came back up to Norfolk on Saturday with Brian in tow, and Laura drove down from Dean's to meet us. We walked across the street to my beloved Colley Cantina for some dinner and quite a few beers and were joined later by my oh-so-casual boy Dave, who had the pleasure of meeting Laura and Brian while they were on their VERY best behavior. There were definitely some stories shared that I was saving for later. It couldn't have been that bad though because Dave and I then had dinner together on Sunday night.

So that was my weekend.

Random Thoughts

1. I SO love living in Norfolk.
2. Yesterday (November 20th) I filled up the gas tank in my car for the first time since October 9th.
3. Which was also my last trip to the beach. Remember how I used to go to the beach ALL the time?
4. I'm on an Elton John kick, and I've decided that "Rocket Man" is ever-so-slightly better than "Tiny Dancer."
5. Since the beginning of the school year, I've been observed by 6 different people: 2 administrators, the AP coordinator for the district, my department chair, a student teacher, and the "gifted" resource specialist for the district.
6. I TOTALLY do not believe in "gifted" education. Or AP.
7. Recently I've gone on three dates. With the same guy.
8. While I've made some good new friends, I still very much miss my old ones. And since I don't have any pictures of the new friends, here are some of my old favorites:

Luna

Okay, I promise I am not becoming a cat lady (you know: 27 cats, 0 boyfriends) but some people (namely my sister) have been bitching that there are no new pictures of Luna. The thing about Luna is that she's weird. You know how cats are supposed to hate water? I guess if anyone's cat was going to turn out to love water it would be mine, given my near-worship of said element. Luna spends a considerable amount of time hanging out in the shower and the sink. In fact, as soon as I turn the water on in either she rushes from wherever she is to hop in. Weirdo.

+/-

Things I miss about living in Northern Virginia:
closet space
Robinson
Sweetwater's crab fritters
my friends and family
Whole Foods Market
in-house laundry facilities
the Washington Post
happy hour on the patio at Fats

Things I don't miss:
traffic
fabulous people
"4 tucks" bars
driving everywhere
Republicans
the Rock-It Grill (kill me now)
paying too much for everything
McMansions

Recent Developments

Lots has happened in the past week or so. I've reduced my car usage by perhaps 75%, attended Cole's 3rd birthday party (Cole is Nisha and Trey's kid, for those who don't know), adopted a kitty cat, and sort of quit smoking. I say sort of because I will probably start again. Like tomorrow. It just occurred to me that I haven't had a cigarette since Saturday.

Last week I started walking to school. I live maybe half a mile from school and it takes me four minutes to drive, what with the stop lights and the one-way streets and all. If I walk, it's a straight shot that takes 6 minutes. Pretty sweet. (Also, apparently in the last few weeks I've started saying "sweet.") Walking gives me the opportunity to pet a few friendly dogs along the way, plus I'm totally saving the planet.

This past Saturday I went to Cole's 3rd birthday party at the Herndon Hacienda. If this doesn't sound like a fun way to spend a Saturday night, you've obviously never met the Herndons. Cole was the only child at this birthday party, and probably the only one not drinking, although he did request that his juice be served in a Jack Daniels cup. In addition to the usual cake and presents, there was also plenty of alcohol, excellent music, and a pumpkin carving contest. . .

Which Trey and I won. We (and when I say "we" I mean Trey) carved a Steal Your Face with shamrocks for eyeballs. (For you non-Deadheads out there, steal your face is that skull w/ lightning bolt thing associated with the Grateful Dead). To be honest, I did very little work on our pumpkin aside from scooping out a few guts, but I think I've demonstrated that alcohol, sharp objects and I are not a good combo. I did have the IDEA for the pumpkin, minus the shamrock eyeballs, which were Trey's idea. While there were some other good pumpkins, ours definitely kicked ass and we won a very nice bottle of vodka. I think the vodka went home with Trey, which I guess is only fair since he did all the work.

The biggest recent development is my new kitty cat. I've never thought of myself as a cat person, but my apartment doesn't allow dogs, I'm at work for 12 hours a day, and if I had a dog I'd have to get up early to walk him (and we all know that's not happening). So while I may not be a cat person, I certainly don't have a lifestyle conducive to dog owning. Thus I became a cat owner. I also had lots of encouragement from new pals Steve and Jen, who ARE cat people. Jen went with me to the SPCA to help me find the right kitty or, as Jen tells it, to help the right kitty find me. And she did a good job. On Tuesday, I officially adopted a kitty who's probably very confused about her name. Apparently her original name was Midnight, but the shelter renamed her Sassy, and I have since re-renamed her Luna. She is an awesome cat! She is so sweet and cuddly and she follows me everywhere. I absolutely adore her already.

So that's life in Norfolk. Pictures below. . .

Virginia Wine Festival

Lately my life has consisted of school (about 12 hours a day) and sleeping. However, I did take a break from both over the weekend to attend a Virginia wine festival with some new friends. The wine festival is an annual event held at a park in downtown Norfolk along the Elizabeth River. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, the wine was good, and fun was had. Check out some pictures. . .

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The past two weeks have been spent getting to know my new neighborhood and my new students. The former was made especially easy by the fact that my apartment lacked an operable oven/stove until September 13th. My stove (unlike anything else in my apartment) is a gas stove. I returned from work on the day the gas service was connected and thought I detected a strange odor. When I called the gas company to inquire if this sort of thing was normal, the response was, "Don't touch anything. Exit the premises immediately. Someone will be there within 30 minutes." So I guess it wasn't normal. In a nutshell, I had a gas leak and it took quite some time to repair. In the meantime, I believe I dined at every establishment within a stone's throw. I've grown particularly fond of a place called the No Frill Grill, and apparently the feeling is mutual. The last time I went, which was perhaps the third time in a five day period, the host greeted me with, "You like to sit on the patio, right? At this table?" So yeah, I'm here and I'm a loser. I'm not at ALL the dining out alone type, as you well know, but what can you do?

I also had the pleasure last week of doing my laundry at the "Coin Laundry" across the street. After spending $2 a load just to wash my clothes and being surrounded by literally a truckload of military guys (Army, Navy, Marine Corps? who knows?) who arrived in a Ford Expedition sporting "Official US Government Use Only" tags and who were somewhat unclear on the difference between fabric softener and laundry detergent, I opted for the laundry facilites at the Herndon Hacienda (Nisha's parents' house). I figure if you're sending guys out on the official business of doing laundry (whose laundry were they doing anyway, GW's?!) they ought to at least know how to do it. The Herndon Hacienda is far more pleasant in that there's a swimming pool, you can drink wine while you launder, and the only military guy you'll encounter is Col. Herndon (USMC, Ret.) and he's probably asleep. BTW, I owe my mom $25 if I so much as go on a date with a member of the US Armed Forces, and $100 if I marry one. Norfolk is, of course, the heart of Navy country.

It is also, as my next door neighbor at school described it, a pocket of hope in a state known (notorious?) for its conservatism. Or, at least this particular area is. Everywhere you go they're playing a song I loved in the tenth grade (dude, who knew how cool I was in the tenth grade? Certainly not me.) Aside from the plethora of vegetarian-friendly restaurants, the presence of PETA, and the local paper whose cover story this week was entitled "Equality Now: What local gays want and why they're not giving up the fight," it is a freakin HIKE to get to anything like a Target or a Best Buy or, god forbid, a Wal-Mart. Everything around me is a small, independent, locally-owned business. Everything, that is, except for the Total Wine, which is half a mile from my place. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I can walk to the wine shop. I was there today and I didn't even get carded, despite the big signs indicating that if you are under 30 you should be prepared to present your ID. Since I'm under 30 for ten more days, I was watching the cashier ring me up and silently wondering if, after years of looking young for my age, I had suddenly started to look like I was actually 30, or worse, OVER 30. The guy must have been reading my mind because he assured me that he didn't ask for my ID because he recognized me from my previous visits. See, two weeks and they know me at the wine store. My kinda town.

School

I think I'm up to 62 students now. And I'm not even sure these are real kids. Seriously, these kids are so amazingly good it's spooky. On the first day of school I asked the kids to participate in establishing the expectations for the class by sharing what they needed in order to learn and what they think helps a class run smoothly (thanks, Karpicus). Here's the kind of stuff I heard that day:

"I think a good class is a class where the kids pay attention."
"It helps if everyone respects the other students and doesn't put down their ideas, even if you disagree with them."
"If someone is talking, you should be listening."
"I think if the teacher asks you to do something you should do it."
"Even if you disagree with someone, there's a nice way to say it. Their opinion is still valid."

So yeah, I have it pretty freakin good at school. This is not to say that these kids have no personality. They're a pretty fun bunch. I have one kid in my last period who every day, without fail, starts requesting "closure" with 20 minutes remaining. Norfolk is big on having a warm-up and closure activity, so I always have both on my agenda, and I believe closure is his favorite part of class. I also have another student who complimented my lipstick the other day. He actually raised his hand to say, "I really like the shade of lipstick you're wearing today." For the record, it was lipGLOSS, but I'm a big hit with the 15 year old boys. And the girls have clued me in on the best places to shop.

However, my kids are definitely not an accurate reflection of the school's populuation. For starters, they're mostly white and the school is mostly black. There've been several fights day since the beginning of school, including one on the first day that was apparently gang related (we're talking real gangs here, not Dan Meier gang paranoia) and that had six kids suspended before they even reported to their first class. Suprisingly, at least to me, the school does not have a mediation program. But we do have security cameras, a very proactive approach that's clearly doing a lot of good. . .

Settling In. . .

After moving from the suburbs of Northern Virginia to a very cool part of the city of Norfolk, I'm settling in to my new place (pictured here). It doesn't look like much from the outside, but the inside is pretty cool -- I even have hardwood floors! And, um, the whole building isn't mine, I just have the two windows on the middle floor of the far left-hand side of the building (but my apt goes all the way to the back of the building). This morning I got up and walked a block North to Elliot's Fair Grounds Coffee, a coffee shop that sells ONLY organic, fair trade coffee and that has a sign by the counter that reads, "Be Nice or Leave -- go to Starbucks" (which is across the street). I'm plenty nice, and of course I opted for the non-corporate coffee. Then I walked two blocks South to the health food store. After a long day of unpacking I headed back a block North and had dinner and a very good margarita on the patio of a little Tex-Mex place called the Colley Cantina. So this is definitely a good spot for me.

My school was built in 1918 and the building is BEAUTIFUL. As if that weren't enough, I have an incredibly sweet schedule -- I'm teaching one prep (AP Human Geography) and, at last check, I have only 60 students. Since the course is double blocked, this is actually a full schedule. AND I have my own room. Things have been going well so far. My Social Studies colleagues have been very helpful, especially my next door neighbor who teaches World History and Government and is the sponsor of the Young Democrats (which I've already agreed to help out with in the Spring).

So yeah, things in Norfolk are pretty freakin awesome.