Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Beginning Of The End

I’ve always been a bit of a hypochondriac, so it should come as no surprise that I’m totally freaking out about this little red dot on my eyeball.



I discovered the little red dot yesterday after I got out of the shower. “What’s this on my eye?!” I asked my mom frantically. “Looks like a red dot,” she answered after a quick glance. “I KNOW it’s a red dot,” I said, “what’s it doing on my EYE?!” “It’s probably nothing,” she said. “Yeah, have a beer. You’ll feel better,” suggested my dad.

So I did. And then I had a few more beers and I pretty much forgot about the little red eyeball dot.

Until I woke up this morning and noticed that the little red dot was not quite as little as it had been yesterday. “I think this dot is getting bigger,” I announced with concern over coffee. “Yep. It is,” confirmed my mom without even the slightest hint of concern. “What do you think is wrong with me?” I asked. “Probably nothing,” my parents answered. “Do you think I should see a doctor?” I worried. “A psychiatrist maybe,” muttered my mom (who, for the record, combs -- with an actual comb -- the fringe on her oriental rugs and yells at you if you step on them). “Mom, seriously, I think there’s something wrong with my eye,” I insisted. “Megan, you probably POKED yourself in the eye or something the other night when you were drinking yourself silly,” said my exasperated mother. “Well, I think I would REMEMBER poking myself in the eye, don’t you?” I huffed.

My mom just raised an eyebrow.

So I have a little red dot on my eyeball, which I guess we’re chalking up to what my family calls an alcohol-related incident (or ARI for short). Either that or I’m going blind.

8 comments:

Phil said...

Sounds like you may have poked it with your phone. How long is your antena?

lulu said...

I can't believe that you don't sef-diagnose with the aid of the internet. I have diagnosed myself with at least a dozen rare and fatal diseases this way.

I would guess that what you have is a popped blood vessel. You can get them from coughing or sneezing. When I used to get pneumonia, I would cough so hard that I ended up with these. The don't hurt, but it can take a couple weeks for them to clear up.

Brian said...

Just rub it.

vikkitikkitavi said...

The ingestion of alcohol, combined with the frequencies of telephone trasmission waves, can most definitely cause the blood vessels in the eyes to burst.

I'm surprised you don't have more of them.

Coaster Punchman said...

I have a no-panic policy until I've had something for about four days. I don't know if such a policy would help you, but policies are good to have in general.

Maritza said...

I think it's a brain tumour.

noonan said...

Oh, Megan. This has ARI written all over it. Hmmm. Maybe some Visine? Who knows. Or, alternately, maybe you are turning albino.

Megan said...

Phil: An excellent hypothesis! Only my phone doesn't have an antenna.

Lulu: I'm DAYS away from the internet diagnosis. That actually tells you all the bad things it COULD be. Right now I'm just worried about what it MIGHT be.

Brian: Done and done.

Vikki: What, you're agreeing with my MOM on this?!

CP: If it hurt I'd be more worried. I'm such a hypochondriac I sent a kid to the clinic today because she said her left arm was tingling and she felt clammy. My immediate thought was "heart attack." The nurse sent her back with some ice.

Maritza: I'll run that possibility by my doc.

Noonan: Um, did YOU just call ME an albino? Because I am SO not the one who got a terrible sunburn while wearing SPF 45 and sitting under an umbrella!