Thursday, September 21, 2006

I Got Your Data Right Here

My school district has gone absolutely fucking out of its mind with data collection and analysis. The administrative big-wigs use the term "data" the same way our current president uses "freedom" and "terrorists": to trick you into thinking there's something substantive going on.

I'm really sick of data. In fact, somebody from downtown might want to collect some fucking data on how many teachers are thinking about quitting because of this ridiculous obsession with data. Count me in.

In the meantime, I'm collecting data on data. For example, today I attended a five hour workshop at which the term "data" was used 39 fucking times. And eight of those were during lunch.

At future meetings, I plan to collect even MORE data. That way I can compare the amount of time we spend talking about data to the amount of time we spend talking about trivial little things like teaching and learning. If I'm feeling really ambitious I might even graph my data.

Because nothing says "I care about kids" like a fucking line graph.


lulu said...

Add me to your data about teachers thinking about quiting.

I am impressed that you take notes on anything. I just write kill kill kill kill kill kill over and over in tiny letters on a legal pad. Then I leave the paper somewhere for someone to find.

Phil said...

I'm gonna need more data on the relationship between line grpahs and caring for kids. Can I get that please?

Coaster Punchman said...

Thank you. Although I am not a teacher, I have one of those jobs where the people who make ultimate decisions are hundreds if not thousands of miles away. Therefore, the only thing about me they have to go on is data. Which they try to collect from me. Daily. I was actually asked to do a report on all the reports I've done. Data on my data.

Of course, when they ask for these things in emails consisting of more than two paragraphs, I ignore them. It helps.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Did you hear the story on Morning Edition this morning about Jeb and the FL schools? Pretty interesting.

Megan said...

Lulu: I was sitting next to my boss. I thought it was best to take notes. Ordinarily I write notes to Steve like we're in 5th grade.

Phil: I think you will find an inverse but statistically significant relationship.

CP: Reports on reports?! That's pretty fucking stupid.

Vikki: Um, no Morning Edition for me, as I'm in class then. I could listen to it later but my school has NPR blocked. Bandwith issues, I'm told.