Olly Olly Oxen Free

Phil tagged me. . .

1) Would you bungee jump? Fuck no! I don't even like rollercoasters.

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be? Sit on the beach and read. I'm aware that this profession currently does not pay very well, but I'm interpreting "anything" to mean literally anything.

3) Your favorite fictional animal? Is a mermaid an animal? 'Cause that's one of my favorite anythings.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh? I don't know that there's one person who consistently makes me laugh. It is, however, impossible for me to spend any amount of time with my family and not end up laughing hysterically.

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up? At 12 I believe I was in my marine biologist phase.

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Oddly enough, I put my hair up. If it's a weekday morning I do this while simultaneously saying something to the effect of, "MotherFUCKER!" I am not a morning person.

7) Have you ever gone to therapy? Have you ever left someone at the altar? Alrighty then.

8) If you could have one super power what would it be? I'd like to be able to put the world on pause while I go about my business. That way I might have a fighting chance of actually being on time for shit.

9) Your favorite cartoon character? I haven't thought about cartoon characters in a while, but I used to have quite a thing for Daffy Duck.

10) Do you go to church? Depends on what you mean by church. I go to the beach a lot, which is pretty much the same thing.

11) What is your best childhood memory? I don't have any fond memories specific enough to describe, but every last one of my fond childhood memories involves being outside. How 'bout that?

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? Absolutely not. I actually believe that bit about marriage being a sacred bond between two people who love each other.

13) Do you own a gun? HELLS no!

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? I'd be surprised to learn I'd even hit someone of the same sex. By which we, of course, mean gender.

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Well, not like as a performance. But I know the words to pretty much every Irish drinking song imaginable and you cannot shut me up at an Irish pub.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Honestly, I think the first thing I notice is their overall degree of unkempt-ness (unkemptitude?). My friends tease me about my "tucks" scale, which takes into consideration not just shirt-tucking (which is bad bad bad), but amount of facial hair, the presence of logos -- particularly Polo (which is also bad bad bad), length of hair, tattoos, piercings, and the like.

17) What is your biggest mistake? Like ever? Jesus. Here's one I'll tell the internets about: running up credit card debt in college. Also, taking up smoking at the age of 15 ranks high on the list of stupidest things I've ever done.

18) Say something totally random about yourself... I own exactly one shirt with a collar, and I only wear that one for irony's sake. Also two guys are currently peeing in the alley between my building and the next one. I can hear them below my window.

19) Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity? People tell me I look like just about any female celebrity with dark curly hair. Not that I can think of any at the moment. When that Pepsi commercial with the little girl with the mafia voice was popular, my students asked me to do a spoof of that for some project or something they were doing.

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? Shit. I typically do not date the most romantic of men. Made me a mix tape?

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Not for complete strangers, but otherwise yes. I actually kinda like these things.

I'm supposed to tag someone now. I'll go with Lulu, since she tagged me with the book thing a while ago. . .