Tighten Up, Norfolk!

Port Folio, our alternative weekly, recently reported that Norfolk ranked 26th on the Forbes list of America's 35 drunkest cities. 26 out of 35. That is a piss-poor showing, my fellow Norfolkians. I mean Providence friggin Rhode Island is ahead of us. Like WAY ahead.

Some of us are doing more than our fair share of drinking. We're certainly not complaining -- in fact, we rather like it -- but if the rest of you would get on board with this whole drunkenness thing maybe we could make it into the top 20 next year. Lord knows we have plenty of fine establishments in which to consume copious amounts of alcohol. For cheap, even!

I certainly haven't been to every bar in the city, but one could easily contribute to Norfolk's overall drunkenness just by frequenting my three favorite hangouts. Cogan's has an awesome weekday happy hour, with Abita Turbodog for $2.50 on Tuesdays and Purple Haze for $2.50 on Thursdays. Colley Cantina's happy hour includes $2 domestics and $2.50 imports all week long. And O'Sullivan's has $1 PBRs all day on Mondays and $1.50 Coronas on Thursdays.

Not to mention all those posh places downtown. I'm sure they have some sort of happy hour too, I just can't say for sure, what with that being totally not my scene.

But let's not lose focus here. The important thing, Norfolkians, is that you get out there and start drinking. And it's 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon. Let's roll!