Thursday, August 17, 2006

Dude, What Is UP With Crocs?!

No, not these crocs.


These crocs.


I know this whole crocs fad has been building for quite some time, but suddenly crocs are ubiquitous. Everywhere I look I see crocs. On everyone. I don't get it. I mean, I'm sure crocs are comfy, but GOD they're ugly!

Look, here's the deal with crocs:

Crocs on little girls. . .cute. Very cute. If I had a little girl she would definitely be rockin' some crocs. But only if she wanted to.

Crocs on kitchen staff. . .very practical. Good thinking. Pick a color that makes you happy and be sure you take them off once your shift is over.

Crocs on wait staff. . .also practical. Only in black. Usually it's dark so we can't tell anyway. Don't wear them out for the inevitable post-shift partying.

Crocs as beach shoes. . .reasonable, although I thought flip-flops were working just fine.

Crocs on grown women. . .not good. Not good at all. Attractive, willowy women can sort of pull off crocs. The rest of you cannot. The rest of you look like you have enormous and very colorful feet. Also, I feel like your feet must be really really hot in there. I'm sad for them.

Crocs on men. . .no no no no no no no! Men, what are you thinking?! Please, put your black socks and loafers back on and cut it out with all this getting in touch with your European side crap.

Crocs on teenagers. . .hey, anyone notice that teenagers aren't wearing crocs? It's because crocs are totally not cool.

You know what's cool? Chucks. If you insist on wearing brightly colored shoes, get yourself a pair of Chucks. High-tops, low-tops, slip-ons; they are all cool. You can even design your own.

Just, please, stop with the crocs.

17 comments:

Brian said...

Holy shit, those are fucking ugly, Batman.

lulu said...

I have croc flip-flops, which are kind of ugly, but not as ugly as the clogs. However, they are the most comfortable shoes I have ever worn, and since I have all sorts of foot issues, I am more concerned about comfort than style. (usually)

Maritza said...

I have faux croc from Payless strictly for yard work. I would never wear them in public. I heard that teens and adults wear them in the South, you don't see them up here.

noonan said...

As much of a shoe girl as I am, and I do sport many a colorful shoe, I am not at all interested in owning crocs. There is nothing that they can offer me that my flip-flops, sneakers, or high heels cannot.

And I already have clown-size huge feet - I do not need to call attention to the ginormity of my feet. My shoes are aimed to make my huge man feet more attractive, not ugly.

Melissa said...

My straight, late-30's male roommate has a pair of green crocs that he wears ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE THEY ARE NEVER OFF HIS FEET BECAUSE HE WEARS THEM ALL THE TIME. He also says they are the most comfortable shoe he has ever worn, but why, for the love of all things fashionable, do they have to be so damn ugly?

vikkitikkitavi said...

God bless you for posting on this. Let us join forces to defeat the Croc!

I linked ya.

http://hoosierdiary.blogspot.com/2006/08/u-g-l-y-you-aint-got-no-alibi-youre.html

GETkristiLOVE said...

I agree whole-heartedly. We have men at my company here in Denver that wear them with white socks and shorts!!! It's just awful, I'm sick of it!

Linked ya too:
http://twomins.blogspot.com/2006/08/croc-haters-unite.html

Megan said...

I knew there were more of us out there! Thanks for the links, girls.

wonderturtle said...

I think crocs will soon be joining UGG (aka ugh) boots in the Land of Terribly Misfit Footwear Choices. All we can do is wait and pray.

But Lu's flops are cute.

Grant Miller said...

You should devote an entire week of posts to Crocs. And call it Croc Week.

Meaghan said...

I live at the beach, and most of the time we suffer from a true lack of knowing what the rest of the world is wearing. I had no idea why everyone showed up in hot pink two summers ago (I guess it was that year's black).

But, my god, when these things started showing up on every single person who crossed the bridge, I thought, thank god I have no fashion sense this season.

Maritza said...

Are any of you old enough to remember Earth Shoes? Truly ugly (but so comfortable).

Megan said...

Brian: Indeed they are.

Lulu: If I have seen the croc flip-flops in person, I don't know it. I have seen pictures, though, and they're not bad.

WonderTurtle and Maritza: Vikkitikkitavi mentioned both Uggs and Earth shoes in a post yesterday. Check her out. (link above)

Noonan: You have more shoes than anyone I know.

Grant: Excellent idea. Can I throw "crikey!" in there somehow?

Meaghan: I can't believe we have not actually discussed the croc phenomenom given the number of crocs we see together on a daily basis.

Unclejbird said...

D0N'T TELL PEOPLE TO WEAR CHUCKS....they were bought out by Nike a couple years ago. Why not just tell everybody to wear Jordans?

Brian said...

Holy comments, Batman.

Megan said...

Because Jordans are NOT cool, J. I know that about Nike, now that you mention it. But I'm pretty sure all those croc wearers are not going to run right out and buy the undeniable cool Chucks just because I said so.

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