Welcome to another edition of "Talkin' Shit About Architecture," where I take pictures of other people's houses and then make fun of them (the people and the houses). Am I qualified to pass judgment on architecture? Not at all. But I have read The Fountainhead quite a few times.
Okay then. Let's get started, shall we?
Here we are in rural Maple, North Carolina, which is situated along the Currituck Sound and consists mostly of corn fields, Baptist churches, and roadside vegetable stands.
But behold! In the distance!
Is that a red UK-style telephone booth I see? It is! Would you like to ring your mum? Too bad. You can't. The door is locked and there's a little sign that reads "not a public phone." Not a public phone?! Then what, pray tell, is the point?
Also, why have an electronically controlled gate that one can easily walk around? You're not keeping out the riff-raff. A gate is supposed to, like, connect to something. Something like the rest of the fence. But I guess if you're gonna have a red (!) phone booth that serves no purpose you might as well throw in a gate that serves no purpose. Go crazy.
The real architectural mishap here though is yonder castle.
I mean, really, a castle? In North-freakin'-Carolina? And it's not even a good castle. That castle is all over the place, architecturally speaking.
As I mentioned above, I'm not an expert on architecture, but I don't think that entrance really works for a castle. Even a fake castle. Maybe without the railing. I don't know. Also, what's up with the lattice-work on the windows? They live right smack dab on a beautiful body of water and they put criss-crosses all over their windows? On purpose? Bad move. And that satellite dish has got to go. How do you think the court jester feels when they sit down to watch American Idol?
Okay fine. How much fun can you really make of a fake castle as undeniably ugly as this? Let's all just point at it and laugh.
Seriously though, what kind of furniture do you think they have in there? And, more importantly, where the fuck is the moat?