Friday, August 25, 2006

So I Didn't Call An Ax Murderer

Remember last month when my hairdresser called me and wanted me to go out with some random guy whose hair she'd cut? Remember how I decided not to what with the possibility of his being an ax murderer or whatever?

So today I went in to get my hair done and the first thing my hairdresser said to me was not her usual, "Are we doing the same thing?" (PS, I think my hairdresser would about DIE if I answered no at this point. Change is SO not my thing.) but, "Did you call that guy?" I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about. "What guy?" I asked innocently, as if I couldn't possibly be expected to keep track of all the guys I'm supposed to be calling.

"Un-fucking-believable!" she responded. And then she proceeded to lecture me about how cute and nice and smart and just generally wonderful the guy was until the OTHER hairdresser appeared and said, "You suck. I'd have gone out with him if I was single. He was cute!" "What the hell do you two know?" I asked, "the guy could have been an ax murderer." "He was NOT an ax murderer!" they shouted in unison. And then they started in again on how awesome he was.

Now, ordinarily you would not want a woman who is angry with you to be cutting your hair. My hairdresser, however, is quite adept at giving you a kick-ass haircut while berating you for not calling a guy who may or may not have been an ax murderer.

And the more she went on the more I felt bad for not calling him. Not so much because I really felt like I'd missed out on a great guy, but because, let's face it, refusing to go out with random strangers on the off chance that they may be ax murderers -- or, worse, Republicans -- is no way to find true love.

"That could have been your future husband," my hairdresser admonished as I rolled my eyes and made for the door, "and he seemed like the kind of guy who'd be good in bed, too."

But not, apparently, like the kind of guy who would hack you up into little bits afterwards.


Brian said...

You're right - Republicans are way worse than ax murderers.

Chris said...

I agree with Brian. For one, Republicans aren't nearly as funny.

Maritza said...

Let's assume he's not a Republican and not really an axe murderer anymore, what's the worse that can happen?

Megan said...

Brian and Chris: Honestly though, if it was between dating a Republican and being hacked to bits I think I'd just date the Republican. I mean, I can dump him eventually, right? Or am I stuck with him forever?

Maritza: Inane small talk, that's what. I suck at small talk. But yeah, I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world.

noonan said...

Well, you know my theory. Go out with anyone once. And really, felons can be a good time. I know. I've gone out with some (unwittingly). ;)

vikkitikkitavi said...

If he's good in bed then NO WAY he can be a Republican!

Maritza said...

Small talk is difficult when there's no chemistry or the other person is dull. When you meet someone new the talk should be non-stop if not, pretend your cell phone is ringing and go home!

wonderturtle said...

Not meant to be. I seem to remember reading about someone else who could have been your future husband too, and the consensus was "bullet dodged."

Megan said...

VTT: I've known one or two Republicans who weren't so bad in bad. ;)

Maritza: Of course. I just don't enjoy the getting to know people phase of things. I enjoy the sitting on the couch in your pajamas watching movies phase of things.

WonderTurtle: And today is the 2 year anniversary of that particular bullet-dodging! Champagne anyone?